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Traditionally, friends of a mother-to-be throw her a baby shower, sometimes as a surprise, sometimes with her knowledge. That is the way it has always been. The friends show their support by throwing a baby shower and giving her gifts that she will need for the baby and advice that they think will come in handy once the baby comes. They plan all kinds of decorations, a cake, and even games. Usually that is how it is done but now we have a question to answer. Can the soon to be mom plan her own shower?

Why not? A pregnant woman should get to choose to plan her own shower if that is what she wants to do. Some women don’t like the baby shower games or like specific foods or know what gifts they will need. Some strong women would prefer to be in control of the celebration of her pregnancy and there is nothing wrong with that at all.

If you are one of these women the first thing you want to do is tell your friends that you plan to throw your own shower right after telling them that you are pregnant so that they don’t waste any effort on planning. You will also want to make a list of things that you know you need, a registry really, and keep that in the hands of one friend. Every one invited will call her and say what they intend to buy you so that you don’t get 10 of the same thing.

Another option, considering that you are pregnant after all, is to make a list of everything you want at the shower and ask your friends or relatives, family to volunteer for tasks. This way you are not the one carrying the cake or going all over for decorations and food. You get to have everything that you want without having to do all of the work. Make sure that invitations are sent out in a timely manner when you have picked a date so everyone can clear their schedules. You can have it catered by your favorite place or ask that everyone bring a dish.

With you picking everything out you can make it your perfect shower. After all it is about you. When it comes to the cake you can either pick it out yourself or have a friend surprise you. You can tell them what kind of cake you want and what filling and frosting but be surprised when you see the shape or what is on it because some are pretty elaborate.

Planning your own baby shower is the perfect way to ensure that you don’t spend all day with people you didn’t want to invite, eating food you don’t like and playing games that annoy you. You get everything how you want it and you won’t get things you already bought or that everyone else got you. Besides, you’re pregnant, what are the chances that anyone will really fight you on the issue, with the exception of your mother of course :P

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For as far back as anyone can remember, the rule for a baby shower have been ladies only. Partly because men didn’t consider it a manly thing to do, going to an event where ladies all talk about baby birth, delivery stories and all of that feminine stuff and maybe because women thought that if she is going to have to give birth, she deserves something for the trouble and a little fun before she is up all night to breast feed.

Things are different now. We have breast pumps and formula so that both parents can take turns getting up every four hours. Nowadays most parents share responsibilities, it is no longer a time when every women spends all her time trying to get pregnant and cooking meals, doing all of the chores and waiting for her husband to bring home the bacon. Women earn just as much or more than their husbands, chores are divided and couples are equals. Baby showers can be enjoyed by men with so many fun activities and delicious food.

Ultimately, the choice is yours. You may want the father and husband there to celebrate, and the more people you invite the more gifts you will get, so keep that in mind! Just make sure that if you are going to invite everyone, men and women, you may want to avoid making it a totally girly experience. They will feel more comfortable if it is like any regular parties and less like a traditional baby shower. You DO want everyone to have fun and acknowledge that soon you will have a new addition to the family.

Another idea, if you do want to keep traditional but feel that the guys deserve to celebrate too, is to have two parties. One can be an all-out mommy and girlfriends only traditional baby shower with all your friends and both grandmothers to be telling their birth stories and saying all kinds of things that would make men uncomfortable. The other party can either be in another part of the house or at a restaurant that allows party venues. The daddy to be can invite all of his friends and both of your fathers and have a guy party where they have some drinks, talk about the changes pregnancy has brought forth and all of the changes a baby will bring. His friends who have kids can share their stories too.

Time has changed, yet some people believe that there are certain things that should stay the same.  Whichever kind of baby celebration you choose will be great, and everyone else can have their opinion of what it should be, but this is up to you and the mommy-to-be, you should be the ones calling the shots when it comes to how that is celebrated no matter what other people think of your choice.

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